I would like to officially declare that as of this week I officially feel like myself again! It had thrown me off when, though I had passed the second trimester mark, I could barely order my legs to move on simple 3-4 mile hikes with Landon and Paityn on his back. But yesterday on the climbing wall I realized I was back. Routes that I had been able to struggle through in the past few weeks were easier than ever, and routes that had left me discouraged and disheartened were suddenly so very doable. The lack of throwing up is the largest relief so far. Fresh fruits and veggies are not only tolerable to look at while grocery shopping, but suddenly sound appetizing. Protein powder + mint gum too, my largest aversion up til this point, aren't looking so bad.
Baby product admiring has begun, but I've tried to keep it at a minimum, wanting to focus on this pregnancy and on preparing for a special birth first. But when JCrew makes clothes as cute as these, can you blame me?
I was able to pick up two of Ina May's famous books last weekend and have started diving into one, her guide to childbirth. Often referred to as the mother of authentic midwifery, she is a breath of fresh air from the stories of birth that pop culture would have you believe. The third that I picked up was Hypnobirthing, the Mongan method, popular for being a relaxation technique and philosophy for preparing for and experiencing birth. I'll report back on my thoughts on all three in the next few weeks as I learn more. This week, if I were to write this little one a letter I'd let them know:
"Though I try to feel connected to you during the week, it's not as easy as it sounds right now. Feeling like myself again means feeling like myself before I was pregnant with you. So Paityn and I go about our day like two little buddies and occasionally I have trouble standing up from tailbone pain or I'll wake up with a weird ache in my lower/side back, but aside from negative reminders I don't have any positive reminders. Those take a conscious effort -- to stop and think about you and how big you are already (an avocado!) and to see if I can feel any movement yet. And if I sit just still enough, and my bladder is empty, I can feel a tapping in the same spot somewhere below my belly button that could only be explained by you. I can't wait til you can make yourself known as you move around in there no matter what I'm doing. xo"
It feels nice to realize that my lack of concern or extra thought of the little growing child comes from a place of confidence that he or she will fall right into our family when they make their entrance in April. That we'll love the new baby with everything that we have and we'll continue to figure life out as a new family of 4. Most of all, I trust my body to help this new life continue to grow.
I really am loving how much faster the second pregnancy flies by. And Paityn's kisses on my belly always make my day: so sincere and full of love already.
Speaking of sincere, we're also loving Linus' sincere pumpkin patch and that Charlie Brown. Because it's Halloween week and it's time to figure out our costumes and to get into the Halloween spirit!