The sun wakes hours before we do. Landon left for work as it was just rising, kissing me softy, letting me know that I could stretch out and take up both sides of the bed. Getting comfortable at night is getting harder by the week. I slowly wake awhile later and begin my day warming up water for a cup of herbal tea that I'll sip while I catch up on social media posts. I make a mental note to stay off my phone more today and to be present with you.
You eventually begin to stir and sing to yourself in bed. You're on a "let it go" kick that I really can't mind when your little voice is that sweet. I wait till you decide it's time to get out of bed and begin your day -- you always let me know with an excited call for me, "mom!" I head back to your room to lift you up out of bed and you're all smiles. Your arms are full of your favorite stuffed buddies that you don't want to get left behind. You quickly realize you'd forgotten the bottle for your baby and scoop down to add that to your pile, which you manage somehow.
With your help I cook two bowls of couscous, your favorite and oh so unconventional breakfast lately. We sit on the kitchen floor and enjoy them, you laughing about one thing or another. You ask about dadda and I remind you that he's at work. You've gotten used to this routine by now and nod your head, remembering that that's how weekdays work for us.
You love Landon with a love that books could be written about. Yours and my relationship feels different. For two years we've spent every day together. In my mind you and I are one, so our love feels simple and peaceful. You're an independent soul though -- spending the morning coloring pictures, exploring and playing while I check off things on my to-do list: a project, a blog post, a bit of reading of school. The second that I let you know that I'm free you run off to grab your shoes and quickly return to sit on my lap and have help putting them on so that we can go outside. We'll look for "the pups", swing in the swings, kick a ball around in the grass, and I try to resist feeling as though I have to capture every moment.
Today I'll let just being with you be enough. Other days I'll snap a million pictures of you, or we'll go on a lunch date, or pick up some chocolate. The pregnancy cravings are real.
Our afternoons are spent with the windows open, now that it's warming up outside, and music playing in the background. You nap for another few hours, buying me time to pull our house together and work on a few more things. Lately it seems like there's always something to do; my brain is constantly running.
By late afternoon we start our routine again -- you slowly waking up, singing to yourself. It's "Let It Go" again. Soon we'll welcome a new little babe into our home and I know our days together will have to change, but I don't think it'll be for the worse. Just this morning you were trying to scoop the air above my belly, telling me, "mama, I want baby out!" You're ready, and I am so grateful for that. I know that no matter what the adjustment phase of getting used to a second little girl will be like, that we've got this.
Together we'll figure it out.